You Can Make Money Fast!How to Make Money from Home SimplifiedBest Ways and How to Opt for The Right Kind of Jobs – How to Earn Extra Money in Spare Time to Make Extra IncomeWork from your Home: Earn money on a low BudgetDo You Believe YouTakeaways from Best Self help BooksSelf help Books for WomenStuart Lichtman – SACP – Super Achiever Coaching Program 16Cybernetic TranspositionDo You Invest in Personal Development & Self Help


When I first came upon this product, I though what a cheesy name “ How to get money for anything fast” but then I read on….and it mentioned something I had never heard before. “How the amazing cybernetic transposition method can bring you all the love, money, health, success or anything else you can name-guaranteed


Whoa what was “cybernetic transposition?” and now we weren’t just taking about money anymore!


Lets face it those of us who are around now for a few years (ahem), know that money isn’t everything-yes I know it is a bit clichéd, but it is true! How many of us know people who have gotten money only to lose it all again. Here this product was talking about having ANYTHING-guaranteed (success, health, money, love etc) Yes please to all of these!


What you will access in this product came about by years of research by Stuart Lichtman (I had personally never heard of him) but then written in a format that the average Joe or Josephine Bloggs could understand. Who better to do this than drumroll for Mr Joe Vitale (a true master of visualization and manifesting desires and more commonly known for his role in The Secret).


What he did was to take very technical information and translate it from formulas to a writing style that outlined instructions in a very clear, easily doable form. Nothing is left out and you will be blown away with the content. Although not a book as such, it really is up there with the “best self help books“.


NB: A word of advice-do not take this book to bed-you won’t be able to sleep! Your mind will be working overtime! Instead take some quiet time to yourself (if possible) where you will not be disturbed and simply read, keeping an open mind.


There is alot to get through, the book alone  is 397 pages and believe me you won’t want to skip a page. There are also some bonuses he throws in but don’t touch them till the very end or you won’t get the benefit, (this will make more sense when you dive in!)


If I was asked to very briefly describe what you will learn-it would be this!


“A system of consciously managing your unconscious mind in ways that empower you to  consistently achieve seemingly impossible results in essentially all areas of your life”


And finally this is what Joe Vitale had to say:

“Stuart Lichtman, the author of all the material you are about to read, is a sincere man who has dedicated the last 25 years to trying, testing and documenting his tools for easily creating the life you prefer. And he really is a genius.  What you are about to read are his formulas. I’ve done my best to brighten them up. What you do with them is up to you.

I suggest you think big. Go for your biggest, boldest, most amazing dreams. Because with the Cybernetic Transposition process you are about to learn, you can and will achieve any dream you want”.


We as kids have really great dreams but when we become adults, things often don’t work out the way we want and our dreams seem to fade away or become even more out of reach. This is just my recommendation and it worked for me.


  • I started small with finding money to revamp my garden and now I am looking out at pretty plants and flowers.
  • Then I moved on to finding money to change my car and then
  • I used cybernetic transposition to find model tenants for a house that was losing money and lying idle for some time.
  • I am now using what I learned to build my own successful business up from scratch starting with very little knowledge!


I continue to use what I learned to get bigger and better things.

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If you still have unfulfilled dreams or desires, then this may provide the answers you were looking for. Why go through another day without learning for yourself how to turn your life around for good and get virtually everything you truel desire? Go Immediately Here to find out more!


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When I first began to question what purpose my life,  had I was drawing a blank. I felt I fit in nowhere and hoped there was more to life than what I was experiencing at the time. I had little money and not much hope things would get better.


While on the internet one day hoping for some sort of inspiration, I came across “The Secret of Deliberate Creation” by Dr Robert Anthony. Personally I had never heard of him before. He has a Ph.D in Behavioural Psycology and has worked as a psychotherapist, NLP practitioner, master hypnotist and personal performance trainer and has spent over 30 years on unravelling the mysteries of the mind.


Although Dr Anthony did not appear in the famous “The Secret” movie, it did play a huge role in its creation. I had watched the movie and found it both moving and uplifting.


The author says that The Secret  of Deliberate Creation gives hands on experience in the science of manifesting your desires so you can create your life by design instead of by default. This is quite a bold statement and with a 365 day unconditional guarantee, I decided to  go for it.


I felt, if I got anything positive out of it to get me out of where I was at, which wasn’t a very good place then it would be worth it!



In a nutshell what you get is really good. The program is to the point and packed with very relevant content teaching you everything you need to know about creating everything you want in life, whether it be more money, love, health, better relationships, new ideas for business or career etc. Although not a book as such, it really is up there with the “best self help books“.

However, it goes to a much deeper level than simply motivation and positive thinking and instead teaches you how to align yourself with the natural laws of the universe so that instead of trying to eliminate what you don’t want, you automatically attract what you do want into your life.


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What you get with this program is as follows:
Disc 1 covers

  • Introduction
  • Quantum Physics-The Key to Creating Your Future
  • The Law of Attraction


Disc 2 covers

  • How the Collective Consciousness of Others
    Controls Your Life
  • How to Use Your Natural Inner Guidance System
  • The Secret of the Flip Switch
  • Introducing Your Essential Silent Partner


Disc 3 covers

  • Heart set Vs Mindset
  • How to Know What You Truely Desire
  • Your Creative Magnetic Energy-The Law of
    Critical Mass


Disc 4 covers

  • Communicating With Your ESP
  • Understanding Time and Your “Point of Power”
  • Allowing Vs Resisting


Disc 5 covers

  • Removing Self-Sabotage and Mental Blocks
  • Let Go and Let It Happen


Disc 6 covers

  • How to Know When Its Time To Take Action
  • The Road To No More Excuses
  • The Ultimate Secret To Creating Your Life by


There is also a Quick Start Bonus Module to be done AFTER you have gone through all the above at least once! Personally I went through the discs 2-3 times, but that is just me. I found that every time I listened to them, I took in even more and it reinforced the previous sessions.


NB You will probably find yourself disagreeing with some of what you are being taught, but just try to keep an open mind for the present, and believe me it will make sense, even if it takes a few listens.



You also get bonus pack of some of his best selling books and an Intention Activator. The books are great and really compliment what the program will teach you. Personally, the audios are my favourite as I am a real mobile type person!


By the way, the 365 day unconditional guarantee, removes any financial risk or doubts you may have about checking it out-how about that! Click Here To Get Your Very Own Copy Today!

Secret of Deliberate Creation

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When it comes to special needs children, it is so easy to forget about the sibling children. No matter what age they are, siblings need to be recognised as individuals who have their own  needs, desires, fears and hopes for the future. So often they are unintentionally ignored as a group as the special needs child needs so much more hands on involvement from parents.

I know some siblings who only come out of their bedroom or who only talk to their parents when the special needs child is either not around or is in bed!

This may seem extreme but believe me these are real examples that I am coming across. This is so bad for the siblings growing up in this environment. When, where and how are their needs going to be met. No wonder they can feel isolated, second best, frustrated and harbour some feelings of resentment towards the special needs brother or sister. I recently wrote an article on how best to support siblings of special needs kids and was delighted to have it published in the Parenting Informer.

It gives good insight into the life of a sibling of a child with special needs and also gives practical advice for parents so they know how to best support the sibling children.

To avoid long term problems, siblings need to be acknowledged and allowed to live as normal a life as possible, they need to be able to share their successes and failures with their parents and receive love in return coupled with unfailing support.

Kate asks…

Are there any self motivating books for women to make them feel like strong and with high morals?

I used to be in a loveless marriage, where I would think of myself as weak and unloved. I used to have men on the side just to fulfill that empty spot in myife. I even had meaningless sex encounters with strangers just to forget about my family situation and sort of punish myself for cheating on my husband.
I want to change myself where i can raise moral standars for myself and be stronger. Are there any books out there that could help me and teach me? I know what i did was wrong, but since I’m already divorced I don’t want the same thing to happen again. I don’t want to sleep around to make myself feel better or worse. Any suggestions on any kind of literature for women in such crises.

admin answers:

I don’t know of any books but I can offer some advice.

It’s good that you don’t want that to happen again. Making that choice is step one. Now the next step is to learn who you are and what you want. Next time you find a guy, set some standards so this doesn’t happen again. You can’t change a person, so if they are abusive in the slightest just leave.

Remember that you don’t need to be in a relationship with someone to validate your existence. You must be happy with yourself before you can really be happy with someone else.

Carol asks…

Does anyone know of any real life story books that will help women improve their self-esteem?

And please not any self-help books. I am trying to work on improving my self-esteem. I don’t feel good at all about my apperance and whole lot of other things about myself that I don’t like. Can someone please recommend a book for me that will help me to imporve my self-esteem?

admin answers:

The chicken soup for the soul books always have inspirational stories. You can get them at They have like all kinds depending on what you want to read about. I would also say to get involved in some hobbies and clubs in addition to reading.

Mandy asks…

i want to write a little self help book for women n relationships, any ideas?

i want it to be a small book… nothing lengthy,,,

give topics that are really interesting to you to this subject, etc… all ideas and advice is appreciated.

admin answers:

Kiss of Breeze

Withering Tears

Awareness or Deception

Revived Rose

Ms. Lovely

Christina asks…

books on woman self confidence?

i’m very insecure, with men I always end up hurt because I have no self esteem and poor self respect..
it’s easy to mistreat someone who doesnt love herself.!

I’m looking for a book that can help me feel confident in what I do and love it, and stand my way , and not care what other think,
I prefer practical and specific ones.
Please not a book on fishing boys or christian/religion related.
Thanks in advantage !

admin answers:

Read books by Maya Angelou

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Robert asks…

Identify the 1992 best-selling self-help book with a heavenly name, written by John Gray.?

admin answers:

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Thomas asks…

What kind of book topics are selling the best right now?

What kind of books are selling the best right now? Fiction or nonfiction…self help…Christian….money? or what others?

admin answers:

Im going to say young adult, all the major books every body knows about where amid for young adults; Harry Potter, Twilight,etc.

Sandy asks…

Where is the best place to self publish a children’s book?

I’m a writer (and if it’s relevant, I’m a teenager) and I typically write novels or one shots. But, last year I wrote two children’s books for school and a use for them has come up. We want to self publish them because selling them isn’t going to be the main focus. They’re written to raise awareness about a current issue and make it relevant to children.

So where is the best place to get them published through? It would help if ti wasn’t pricey, but we want somebody reliable. Thank you so much!! :)

admin answers:

Just because it is low priced doesn’t mean it is always the best. One thing that I feel bad about authors is that they discount too much their talents. When you have written something for years (some have like that) and then you invest on so little, you will turn your hard work into some little project that you will just toss away after a year.

Writing a children’s book, or any other kind of book for that matter, is like an extension of yourself and you will forever have that kind of extension for life when it is published. Treat it like something you don’t want to just turn it into an investigatory project. The question is not how to go about publishing your book when “it isn’t pricey”, as you put it yourself, but how far are you willing to invest to get it started especially when you decided to publish it yourself. Because self-publishing entails a setup fee to publish your book, companies right now offer programs with minimal costs.

Authors are made – not born at the first sign of christening and as long as you can write and pull off a manuscript at an early age of what, 6, you can be a published author.

Self-publishing is one venue for authors who wanted to test how their book will fare in the market.

To get into a contract, yes, you must have someone legal to assist you with it. Self-publishing will entail you to make a deposit before going through production and any financial transaction done should be legitimate.

How can you NOT publish? I have known of authors who started as early as 6 to 10- years old.

With parent’s consent, supervision and resources, these children are already raking exposure in the publishing industry as young as they are now.

I truly hope this helps.

Carol asks…

i want to write a book about my self?

i want to write a book about my self, about my own experiences in life and what i have been thru, and actually apply it to everyones life and have something new to say, and something that people can learn and not make the same mistakes i made,

its mostly the way i grew up,
but i wanna write a book about that,

(im not a great writer)

how can i write a book then sell it on the markets?
how many pages do i need if im gonna make a book about that?
can i get someone to edit my book after i write the whole plot?

and how can i get it on new york times best selling book?

please help

im only 18

admin answers:

If you are still in high school, then talk to your English teacher.
If you’re out of school, look for a writing class and sign up for it. The best way to answer your question is to tell you: just start writing. Some people like to make outlines in order to have something organized from which to refer. But this isn’t necessary.
You can get a notebook and write down the general things you want to include. Figure out what your theme will be (it sounds like you want to take the specifics of your own life and generally apply what you’ve gone through/learned in order to help other people).
Don’t be so concerned with trying to sell it or making it to the NY Times best seller list! Those are pretty high goals to shoot for at this point, particularly if you are not a “great” writer!
Be more concerned with starting the book.
Don’t even worry, at this point, about how many pages.
Don’t look so far into the future: just start!
Figure out where you want to begin and then start writing.
By the way, I am a writer (of a newspaper column). I am in the process of trying to write 2 books.
Publication is a dream, but writing should be your focus, not what happens once you’re done. The way to become a “great” or even “good” writer is to do it a lot, preferably on a daily basis.
Hope this helps a little: good luck, now start writing!!

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Carol asks…

please read this, I don’t know what to do?

Where do I start,

I am narcissistic, badly. I have endless low self esteem, and I have tried to change that by listening to affirmation tapes, relaxation tapes and going to church. I have changed my diet to a healthy one and exercise as I was aware it could also be part depression.

I have faith in God but at times it’s hard to believe when I sort of believe in only believe if you see it. I feel almost hopeless all the time, even when I do feel strong and happy it lasts for maybe a few days or a week. At times I get intense bouts of anger and take it out on my mum. I use her credit card alot and have spend hundreds on it. She is too overprotective and I feel that she babys me too much. She does everything for me and I am screaming inside because I depend on her so much.
I can’t keep a job, I’m getting lots of interviews but I don’t go to them. People tell me I am pretty and I get compliments from family, friends and strangers but I don’t like it. I feel they are saying it to try and hurt me. I always feel people are constantly judging and looking at me and that I can never be myself. I don’t really know who I am and I find it hard to open up to anyone. I don’t have many opinions and I seem to admire people more than I can even begin to like myself.

Growing up my dad was quite an angry person and would emotionally and physically hurt us SOMETIMES, if we were bad, and fought with my mum alot. He could be really nice too, he didn’t completley be a horrible father it was mixed. He died from cancer when I was 14 and Witnessed the whole thing as I was there when he died. The reason why I am saying what I have been through is maybe this has part to do with why I am the way I am.

I can’t do this anymore because I’m trying everything and it’s like nothing is working. I don’t have any friends anymore because of this.

I am going to see the doctor on monday,

What the hell is wrong with me?

admin answers:


it sounds like you have been through a lot, maybe you need to work through it all and try to make sense of it, be honest about how you truly feel now, how you truly felt in the past, even if that is painful. You are going to see the Doctor, well done, maybe ask him about talking therapies

Good luck x


Charles asks…

My girlfriend was repeatedly molested by her father growing up?

My gf, now 20, was molested almost daily by her father from the age of 5 until the age of 13. The more I got to know her, the more apparent the effects of this abuse became. I now see that she is a textbook child molestation victim. These are the biggest effects in her:

-extreme promiscuity
-horrid self esteem
-extreme paraphilias
-compulsive lying (even about inconsequential things)
-likes to occasionally dress up like a little girl and call me “daddy”
-no sense of appropriate sexual behavior or boundaries (she likes to come into the bathroom while im on the toilet to talk, or she tries to have sex in a crowded supermarket on a Saturday afternoon)
-likes to do things she knows anger me so I yell and curse and it validates her low self esteem
-takes pride in her promiscuity and wears it like a badge of honor
-extremely submissive. Her only objective in life is to please her man, regardless of the request. She also can’t make her own decisions — I have to make them for her
-determined to settle down and get married and start a family

There are others but those are the biggies. She refuses to get therapy because she doesn’t want to have to face the memories she THINKS she’s buried. This is the second girl I’ve dated with an abusive childhood, and the first was a complete lost cause so I had to let her go. This girl is different. I see brief glimpses of the normal, healthy girl that lies within. Her positive qualities, while overshadowed by the aforementioned negatives, are wonderful.

In my gut I’ve known all along that she can be saved — today she even admitted that she sometimes feels like a prisoner in her own body — but that hope is dwindling. I know there’s a healthy girl waiting to come out, but she refuses to get help. I can’t just let her go because she’s beautiful (she used to model) and her only happiness comes from male validation; the perfect recipe to get taken advantage of. If I let her go, boyfriend after boyfriend will abuse her and take advantage of her, and I love her too much to let that happen. I know she wants to change.

Sorry this is so long, but here’s the bottom line: she has agreed that since she refuses to get professional help, she will be as open and honest with me as I need her to be in order to help her myself. She has agreed to open up completely about her childhood and what she went through, and anything else I ask, as long as I stop pressuring her to get professional help. So my plan is to do whatever research I can, buy whatever books I can, talk to whoever I can, so I can teach myself enough to be her therapist. I know I won’t be nearly as effective as a professional, but I figure if she’s refusing to go to therapy anyway, this is the next best thing.

Please, any advice you guys can offer me (especially from mental health professionals) would be greatly greatly appreciated. I understand the enormity of the task I’m undertaking, and maybe she is a lost cause, but the brief glimpses of hope I see in her keeps the flame in me alive. But please don’t just tell me “she needs help.” And don’t tell me how screwed up she is. I understand what a mess she is, believe me, I have to deal with her daily. What I’m asking for is literature, web sites, tapes, DVDs, anything that can help me help her. And advice/tips from mental health professionals is especially appreciated.

Thanks for reading. God bless.

PS I’ve already purchased and begun reading “Allies in Healing” by Laura Davis.
This whole experience with her has changed my entire outlook on the objectification of women. I used to enjoy pornography and strip clubs, just like any other hetero male. I no longer enjoy these things, because I know the majority of porn stars and strippers are girls just like her, with fatherless childhoods, just seeking the validation of men, validation they never got when they were growing up. It’s sad.

admin answers:

You’re a really sweet boyfriend.

Sandy asks…

Needs some help with my sex life!?

I have been witht he same guy for over two years our realtionship is very different. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 29, I am pretty self confident about myself and I am pretty down to earth. But, this has been going on for a while, I caught my bf masterbating about a year ago and it didnt make sense to me because he told me to watch a movie and he would be in, in a few mintues i waited and waited ands then i walked in on him doin; the deed…Well, now here is whats currently happening,,. we have sex every once in a blue moon, about once a month if i am lucky, but he beats down every other day or if not everyday…I find out easly b.c he sets the broweser on private, or hides the video tapes n dvd’s…Now, i am kind of feed up bc I have no sex life wit him, I tried to talk to him and play with him and his exuses are always “baby the tip of hurts” “uuuhhh, well if u did n ot beg so much maybe we would be having it” “i am too tired”..I thought he would be cheating on me for ahile but, I told him from the start that, if u want to cheat on me feel free to just break up with me the mintue u do, I love you very much and i always will but, if u cheat i do not want to be apart of u! So, idk, if there is anyone who can please help m e out with this, please give me some really good adivce, Here are a few more things, please no body take any offense to this, he masterbates to teenage sluts, black women (no offense please i just want adivce), group shit and everything else…I dont get it, I am a very cute girl and men always hit on me but, i dont care for it! but, it is really hurting my self esteem that he doesnt want to have sex with me at all..the only times we do have sex he is really drunk and that is when he will do it with me…, I lost about 60 ilb, so i am at 5’9 with 110 ilbs total. I have even changed my hair color and done almost everything to look better for him and notthing has worked, I tired sex toys, deep thoart trix, sexy clothes, but, notthing has worked…I feel very unwanted by him…Also, am I taking this too far, I mean should i just not care about it, is a healthy sex life important in a realtionship, is sex even important in a realationship or I am being self fish about wanting to have sex with him and he doesnt want it with me maybe? Idk, but can someone please give me some adivce I dont know what else to do! Thank you and you are really h elping me out!

admin answers:

 The problem is NOT YOU, the problem is that your boyfriend is addicted to pornography and it is affecting his relationship with you. You need not change yourself, but I would say that you may need to break it off with your boyfriend for awhile and ask him to seek help for his addiction. You can choose to support him as a friend, but do not support his unhealthy sexual habit. He cannot “see you” sexually because his natural desire for you is tainted by pornography. Good luck, you are young. Go out and meet other people and free yourself from this contamination and emotional abuse. I do wish you the best! :) Best self help ebooks

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Donald asks…

WOMEN ONLY Anyone know of a self-help book which guides women through a “break-up” with another female friend?

I recently had a falling out with two of my best girlfriends. I feel that the broken friendship is for the best. However, losing these friendships has been really heartbreaking. I feel like I just went through a messy divorce- it’s just so devastating. Are their any other women out there who have gone through the same thing and can recommend a good self-help/guidance book on the subject? I would like the book to be about the break-up of just female friendships. And please- this question is just for other women.

admin answers:

Well chicken soup for the soul is pretty good but it’s not just about girls. I really don’t know anyothers. I feel for you and i know what your going through. Hang in there,

Joseph asks…

Emotionally Abused Women Self Help Groups and Advice…..?

I have a friend who’s boyfriend is very abusive emotionaly. Her mother, my mother and I are getting together tonight to talk about it. Our familes are really close and our moms are best friends and her and I live together. We also have grown up together.

I have found some good info about emotional abuse online and made of a list of the things that I witness and know he does to her.

This guy is a ticking time bomb and I just know he will hurt someone or something someday. I don’t even want my animals around him.

So I just need some advice on how to talk to her mother, should I inform her that he hit her once before that I know of?
Is it to give her all the info I found on emotional abusers?
What are some support groups or good self help books her or I can get her into and how can we help brake the chain of this physcopath?

thanks so much for your help.

admin answers:

If he hit her, u need to tell. Some emotionally abusive men end up killing their loved ones, so i wouldnt take any chances, get her out of there. You need to stick by her.! Some abusive men (all kinds-emotionally, physically, sexually etc.) can convince people the person they abuse is crazy, or that their friends just pity them, so even if she pushes you away, you need to stick with her.  Dont let her stay in her own house, make her stay with one of u so he dosent try to get her back (verbally or physically) emotional abusers can be very persuasive. Watch out for him. Good luck!

Sharon asks…

Which of these books would be better for self improvement?

I am trying to be a better person and to be more feminine.

Which of these books would you say would be best?

1, Fascinating Girl – Helen Andelin
2, Preparing Your Hope Chest – Pearables
3, Personal Help For Girls – Pearables
4, What Southern Women Know – Ronda Rich
5, Live Your Life Healthy, Happy and Whole – Victoria Osteen
6, One Month To Live – Kerry & Chris Shook
7, Set Apart Femininity – Leslie Ludy
8, Raising Maidens of Virtue – Stacy McDonald

I think they are mostly American books and writers so I haven’t heard much about them. Also I’m not married so I want books that I can relate to. I just want some sort of guidelines to help me be who I want to be.
@ Dan – Reading all of them would take forever!!

@ Tracey – I am perfectly capable of maintaining a budget and already have an education, job and savings. I want to learn things in addition to that.

admin answers:

I am trying to improve as a person too! I think it is important to take responsibility for your own happiness and behaviour.

1 – I have read this and I really liked the bits of femininity but the later chapters are quite manipulative which I didn’t like.

2 and 3 – Depends on your age as I think these are for quite young children.

4 – Very sweet! I liked this one although it’s not all that serious.

5 – I haven’t read it but I suggest you read the reviews maybe on amazon?

6 – This is on my to read list as it has some really great reviews.

7 – Very strict!! Too deep for me and I actually didn’t finish it.

8 – I haven’t read it but it sounds like a book for parents.

Hope this helps!!


Nancy asks…

My “best friend” is self centered, what should i do?

My “best friend” is so self centered, when is say self centered i mean really really self centered!
for example if we talk about a celeb she always says “oh, she isn’t nothing compared to me” or “haha, how is she a celeb, she aint got the looks!”
I am a HUGE fan of Beyonce and i am saving up money for a concert if there is going to be one.My mom said she will buy me and my sister a VIP ticket (my sister is 19) and when i told, lets call her Shenice, she said “why are you wasting money on an ugly woman”
that made me furious, so i replied “If Beyonce is ugly, then your x10 uglier”
she just stood there so i added on saying “not everything in the world goes around the looks of people, jeez what happened to don’t judge a book by it’s cover” she later stormed out of my house.
I do not feel bad.Later on that day she called and said sorry, but then she added on “at least you could have of bought a ticket for me aswell!” I shut the phone on her face.
should i call and say sorry?
help, i am sick and tired of her immature behavior, i just turned fourteen around a month ago, so this Beyonce ticket is a present from Mom and my Sister.
what should i do?
thanks in advance. :)

admin answers:

 Enjoy the concert with your sister – without this “friend”. Or, give her a serious talk about this. Some people just don’t learn. Good luck and happy late b-day!

I am a guy and I hate girls / women so much & I love them so much too. Could you please help me?

I agree with you that you just saw the weirdest question you might have ever seen so far. But……..

(Steve Chandler, in his selfhelp book “Reinventing yourself” says about an incident in which he scolded a woman very harshly. Later, when he became calm, he understood that if it was a man who did the same thing as done by that woman (which irritated Steve), he would have simply joked with him about the situation, instead of being so angry. So he arranged a group meeting in which there were many women and he seeked their help to resolve this double standards adopted by him and that meeting helped him to tackle this issue.)

Now, I am doing the same thing here. I have a very serious problem (ummm not really) with girls (women). Let me repeat, I hate them so much, but, at the same time I love them so much too. Let me explain, in my life, always, I can get along with most of the boys/men very easily. Normally, I don’t quarrel with any guy. But, with girls, I don’t do anything else. ;-)

But, on the other hand, I had very deep relationships (Minus sex and in love) with girls only. Never with boys. My relationship with boys has been always in the mid-way- stage – not high or low. (And yes, I am perfectly straight in my sexual orientation, not impotent, gay or bisexual etc.)

I am still a virgin and for the last 1 or 2 years, I purposefully did not date any girl. I don’t have any intention to marry in my life (my mother is torturing me for the same though). Now, I am an internet marketer and I am going to build and run a dating site intended to improve the dating success skills of guys, very soon.

So, I have to become an expert in the field of dating skills. I am good at it. But, of course, being an expert for the sake of my career (Internet Marketing) is another thing. So, I have already started my research yesterday.

But, only theory will not do. As I told you, I did not date for the last 1 or 2 years, one reason being that I cannot stand the character of many girls. But, when I study new dating strategies so as to teach other guys later through my site, I have to first test each technique / strategy to check whether it works or not.

Or in other words, for the sake of my career, I have to check the workability of various dating techniques with of course, gorgeous girls. (Well, they say they that we can teach only what we preach. Right. ;-)

So, do I like to flirt with gorgeous girls or not? Yes But No. Why No? I easily become irritated by the various remarks made by girls/ women I have to deal with, whether I am dating them or not.

A few months earlier, I had a short stint as an MBA student. Do you know the opinion of at least some of the girls there about me? “Arrogant, Self-Centred, Introvert etc.” I don’t know why. Perhaps, because I always purposefully neglected them. (I had a bad experience with a few girls in the beginning; so as usual, I avoided all girls in my class from then onwards)

Now, I have no other choice. The decision for starting the dating site will not be changed and I am very serious about it. So, please help me how I could be more understanding towards girls; instead of having a low opinion about many of them. That is surely essential for me to become a dating expert cum coach. Well my students couldn’t also fail. Right? ;-)

I know about the dating books provided by other Internet marketers. But, I cannot be always the affiliate of others.

So please help me by giving your valuable suggestions. I will surely vote for the best answer so that you can easily get 10 precious points.

Thanks a lot & Regards,

(Due to the fact that I did not date for the last 1 or 2 years, I checked whether my pick up lines work now also: check the link below: I used similar pick up lines earlier which worked then too. So, the actual question (in disguise) here was that if I want, can I get the attention of girls? Yes, I got attention of 11 people within 5 minutes. ;-)

But, the interesting part is that some of them believed all those. Each sentence in that article was made up, for the sake of entertaining others and checking the effectiveness of my dating skills after 2 years. ;-) Well you may get the 10 points there also. I am waiting for the voting part.;_ylt=ArnCw4mdwao6U6raIrLi09nty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110326175431AAwCjU6

(Do you think that my book “My 10,000 Dating Blunders” will be successful?) )

No answer so far in 15 minutes. I should have summarised it all into 3 or 4 sentences :-)

admin answers:

I think you’re afraid of getting into a relationship with a woman is because maybe you don’t understand them. Go for real women! Girls don’t have to be gorgeous, keep in mind Best self help ebooks

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Mandy asks…

How to turn passive-aggressiveness into something more positive?

I HATE confrontation, so I generally use passive-aggressiveness to *hint* when things are bothering me. We all know how bad that works… it ends up leaving me frustrated to where I just blow up.

But if I go to confront someone head on, I can never find the right words and I’m so nervous that I usually just end up apologizing for confronting them all-together—so then the problem never gets addressed.

What are some tips to help change my passive-aggressive attitude??

I’m on a road to self-improvement tonight!! :-P

admin answers:

Passive-aggressive behavior is sometimes rooted in self-esteem and trust issues.

Learn to love yourself and trust others.

Susan asks…

“Swim Suit Season”?

Basically i wanna lose weight by summer. I’m 15 about to turn 16, maybe 5’9 or 5’10, and weigh, well…a lot, probabaly around 165. I’m not fat, and i’m most deffinitly NOT skinny. I just have really thick thighs,/butt, and a “muffin top”, but my stomach isn’t that bad. I’m just really self-conscious about my self when i wear certain things such as bathing suits or tight shirts which is why i usually wear sweaters. My goal is to get in shape by summer, or at least when i go back to school (early sept.)

I was working out a lot for a while, but i really didnt see improvement. i really like lifting weights, and dancing…but i know the “real” way to lose weight is running. I HATE running.

Is there any way that i can get in shape before bathing suit season, that doesnt involve running? what other ways can i get some good cardio, like would pilates work maybe? tips please(=

admin answers:

Dancing is an excellent way to lose weight, plus it’s fun and you would probably stick to it. Running has its negatives. It’s hard on your feet and legs. You can really work up a sweat dancing just put on your favorite radio station or some music videos and get your dance on. Weightlifting is also great. Did you know the more muscle that you have on your body, the faster your metabolism works and you lose more weight when you exercise. So keep up what you’re doing, but be consistent,at least 30 minutes, 4-5 times per week. In addition to all of that, it is important to include a healthy diet, start slowly if you need to and just cut out things here and there like a couple of sodas, that extra piece of cake, the small fries instead of Super Size. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Sandy asks…

Have symptoms of anxiety, depression, bipolar?

Well I just wanted to let you know things that I’ve been observing and doing for the past year that has helped me so much with bipolar, depression, anxiety. Seriously, I can’t even sleep for days without my heavy loads of medication, but these ways of doing things really helps with all of this. At first I thought it wouldn’t help then, I just tried and found it really helped. Here are some things that naturally helps that you can do on your own.

First of all never call your self sick or label yourself. You must accept yourself also. Just treat yourself for your symptoms, like a cold in a way. Notice your symptoms, like when you notice a cough, treat it, but don’t obsess over it, and you’ll notice improvement the best. Remember things can always be worse so make the most of what you can as you try to improve your situation.

To feel better you have to want it and believe you’ll be okay, and once you believe it and want it, you’ll start asking people questions and be interested on your own on how to be stable. You’ll also feel a relief that you will find help soon enough. All the help you need is within yourself and other places out there.

The body works by chemical reactions and foods are chemicals consumed to help the body carry on things that the body needs to do. So it’s important to get all nutrients needed. Take half a multi-vitamin a day, try taking vitamin b-stress complex daily, and take omega 3-6-9 supplements which is proven to help with nourishing the brain.Take it for a few weeks and you’ll notice the difference.

Also, mood problems can occur from hormonal imbalances, like low thyroid levels.
It is also very important to get sunlight daily which helps boost the mood. Exercise helps boost the mood and and take care of excess energy. It helps with better sleep at night.

Make sure you sleep and wake up at a regular schedule. Sleep is very important to help the mind heal and to be in a good mood. Get 8hrs of sleep each night. No more than ten because too much sleep can make you feel groggy.

Another thing is try to change any negative or stressful thought you have to an optimistic one. Even if it doesn’t feel like you believe it, tell yourself you believe it. I once was told everything is love, atleast some sort of love, and everything else is your own perception. Jealousy, hate anger, resentment takes away calmness from people, and a sense of peace in ones’ mind is important. it’s also important to have a general love for humanity.

Also stay away from stimulating things, no hair spray, markers, chocolate, tea, coffee, horror flicks. Anything that causes that high or rushed feeling causes stress on the body.

Here are some great websites for anxiety and bipolar:

Hope this helps you guys, message me if you have any questions or wanna talk
I’m diagnosed with bipolar from three different doctors. This information works for anyone

admin answers:

Well done on discovering the power of pma! Best self help ebooks

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What should I do? Sex addict?

My self-esteem was crushed as a child due to constant bullying. My parents were over bearing. I lost my virginity at age 9 or 10. I remember being young…really young (4 or 5)…finding tapes….my mom saying “he’s doing something you can’t” I think I might have been exposed to sexually explicit material at a very young age. Now I’m 26. Cheated on my first girlfriend 12 times, second 4, and now, much to my dismay, I’m trying to cheat on my new girlfriend…and I’m getting close.

I find myself trying to have sex with people I wouldn’t normally find “attractive” just for the adrenaline rush. Everyone thinks I’m such a great guy but no one knows what I really am. I’m charming, and a smooth talker, I’m able to make every girl feel like they’re the one.

I know this is all to protect my damaged ego, I’m self-aware…but I’m lost. I feel like I won’t stop cheating until I loose everything and kill myself….I don’t love them, that part of me needs them…needs to feel worthy of something.

Should I just kill myself?
What disturbs me most was my ability to initiate sex at 9. Was I possibly abused? Could I have blocked something out?
I don’t know if I can seek help. I can’t break the addiction cycle. I know If I seek help I’ll have to tell my girlfriend and I’ll be exposed and I can’t be seen as weak. I don’t have the f*king balls. That’s why I’m thinking of suicide.
I shouldn’t have said suicide. I’m sorry.

admin answers:

First, no you do not need to kill yourself. That is just a way out that would not solve anything and leave a wake of destruction in its path. What you need to do is seek counseling. There is a good possibility that you were molested young and blocked it out, and this is your subconscious’ way of handling that. You need to feel needed, I get that, but you are putting yourself and others at risk. You need to find a way to work through some of the emotions that you have buried and find a way to love yourself. Until you love yourself, you sure as hell can’t ever really love someone else. There are specialists trained to deal with conditions such as yours. Sex addiction is a very real disorder, brought on by some form of trauma. Seek counseling and do your best to try to heal as soon as you can. Good luck.

Daniel asks…

Do you realize how unimportant the bible makes humans out to be?

How unworthy we are of gods love. How we are such sinners and bad folks. Can you see at all that the bible teaches humans how to become without self worth, self esteem, and confidence? Your confidence is based on a belief and a very controversial belief at best.
Can you see the bible guides it’s so called children just the opposite as what us humans have proved to be correct in raising children. which includes praise, love, an understanding. the bible doesn’t teach these things It is no wonder religious folks cannot answer questions without using some kind of god’s words instead of their own. The bible turns your individuality and the ability to think for yourself into robotic tapes you play for folks when asked questions

admin answers:

Now your getting it !

Linda asks…

How do I move on after breaking up with my boyfriend?

Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 long years and we have lived together for the past 2 years. We honestly love each other and are like best friends but things have been extremely dry between us. Our sex life is non existent. I’ve tried spicing things up bringing toys in dressing up, talking to him, working out, even adult tapes basically anything to get him to find me attractive but nothing works. I’ve given up and I really don’t know what else to do? Now I am ready to move on but my self esteem is so low now that I’m afraid I won’t find anyone else. How do I move on?

admin answers:

Cry a little, delete things that remind you of him (like photos and songs) watch comedic movies (they always help) plan things with your friends more, start looking for other guy. Try some best self help ebooks for added inspiration.

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David asks…

Book recomendations on self improvement tips?

I’m going into college and I want to read books that will help me mature and stay positive on the outlook of life.

admin answers:

The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
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Sharon asks…

I’m searching for a self esteem/confidence book…?

I prefer one by a women because i feel it would better be easier to relate. I could be wrong.
Have you read one you can say helped you?

admin answers:

There is a book called Treasure Yourself by Miranda Kerr. She is a model but she has had a lot of tragedies in her life and she talks about self- esteem issues in young women. I hope this helped :) .

low self esteem and confidence?

ok so heres how it is. I am told by many people and not just good friends that im attractive, have a good personality, and have a great body. So that sounds great to most and should sound great to me. However after tonight it has become abundantly clear that i can not convince myself of this same fact. Basically i lack self esteem and self confidence and im not comfortable with myself. The reason for this is simply i went out to a club (second time in my life) got lost from all the friends i came with and said ok but i had no confidence to really try to go talk to any of the girls out there or dance with them. Don’t get me wrong i tried but im certain they could see it in my eyes that i was not confident and i know that can be a major turn off to women and not make people wanna have fun around me. I have a hard time being comfortable in a new enviroment and i wanna keep going out to clubs though. So i feel like i need to take things into my own hands. I know this is something i need to fix myself and nobody can really change this but me. But what i want is some guidance so can anyone suggest a book or a dvd or something to help me out here?. Hopefully there is thanks to anyone who helps.

admin answers:

I felt what you feel.For a guy like you who hasn’t been into a relationship,you may find it hard if you keep on thinking negative about yourself.Confidence is always the key but dont forget to set limit.Others might find you really annoying if you just want to look popular,like you’re so fresh to show your intentions to them.Just be patient.If you want to bring the best in you,look at yourself in the mirror.I personally don’t find you bad looking,actually you have the looks it’s just that you are afraid to show what you really got.Start with an eye contact.If that works,go talk to the person and introduce yourself politely.Just be careful with the words.Anyway,what’s lacking is your trust in yourself.When you say be yourself,that means everything goes without minding what would happen.Which I think you had already done before.Basically, it takes time for somebody to adapt the changes but once you’re used with it, you might find yourself at ease.

The best thing you can do during your spare time is read the book “Unleash your Full Potential by James Rick” . I was once looking for a self help book when somebody online recommended me to read his writings.I say,I never got bored reading the book.

The purpose of the Full Potential Philosophy is for living life at your best:Physically,Mentally,Spiritually,Socially and Financially.It teaches you the things you need to enhance I mean the areas you need to develop and how you can be productive.We all have hidden skills and we do need to have deep understanding about ourselves before we get our full potential.Life is temporary. Your existence – at least on Earth, has a beginning and an end. This fact urges you to be efficient about how you use time.And that what leads you to be productive.

William asks…

Advice about getting the confidence/courage to speak to women?

I have read a few self help books on conversation, NLP and tried a hypnosis CD for confidence, but am far from convinced. I know getting started is the hardest bit. I want to start with general chit-chat but my mind just goes blank. I think I should say Hi, then make a general comment about the environment, perhaps a compliment that’s not too personal. I sort of freeze up and don’t introduce myself and let the moment go by. I don’t drink, it’s been a prevalent problem in my family and I don’t want to follow suit, so I don’t want to hear any of this dutch courage nonsence.

If you have any suggestions or strategies (not examples like use a dating web site though) I would be very grateful. Thanks for reading.

admin answers:

We all want something. When you want something, you can be humiliated and teased. Try talking to a woman you want nothing from, someone you do not find particularly attractive and are not after anything from. Just talk about whatever there is on your mind, or whatever you think is on her mind. (within reason of course, it is often necessary to be respectful and contextually correct)

When you have learned that the talking part is easy when you want nothing, you can progress towards expecting nothing. When you expect nothing, you can then talk to anyone the same way as when you want nothing.

It is particularly important of course, not to chase a person around so that you can have a chat about nothing. You have to chat with whoever you come across, but you can be selective and choose not to chat too.

Breaking the ice, and the barrier, is all about communicating on the level of the person you are speaking with. Speak their language, and you will win their mind.

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Paul asks…

can someone motivate me to study again (long)?

Basically, i’m turning 16 next month and i have my mock gcse’s the month after, and the real exams a few months later.

The trouble is, is that i spent the best part of my summer revising so i can get great marks. But recently i have experienced a huge burnout in motivation. I have the potential to get A*s in most my subjects (according to
My teachers) I go to a decent school, i promised my long-term girlfriend that i will do well (she lives overseas and has high expectations for me), i’m called stupid at school by loads of people because i failed at my Languages (so i want to prove them wrong), i sold my xbox while my friends are spending hours playing the new xbox game (black ops) and recently getting better marks than me and i have even turned to god for help. Everything has shot downhill and i’m a complete mess.

So i convinced myself that i should try to relax for 2-3 weeks and hopefully my courage will arise again and i can get on with my life again. Yet, all that caused was for me to become my former self of a computer game addict/time waster of just spending hours reading useless books (wheres wally, KS1 books, etc), playing online computer games (like and other useless things. I have even begun masturbating 3-4 times a day. Before this burnout of concentration, my mind was so fresh and alert and i never thought of masturbating (maybe once a month), but now i do it 3-4 times a day and i go to bed with an aching, tired body, and blurred mind and memory after the dizzy spells i get after i ****.

So i have turned to the final place i can get help. Maybe someone on Y!A can provide a spark that will start my fire again. I know that this is the ideal time to study, with it being the start of something that will decide the rest of my life, while everyone else is wasting their time playing black ops. But i just can’t. I’m in a complete mess. I’m gaining weight, losing my six pack and my eyesight’s getting blurry too. My close friends think i’m underachieving too.

But worst of all, i know if i do badly, i’ll let my girlfriend down. She is really acedemic and she wants to get into Cambride/Harvard (which she’ll probably do) and wants me to do well in my exams so it would be easier for us to be closer together. I really miss her, but i wreck like me doesnt deserve someone like her at the moment. She said that she wouldn’t mind if i do badly, but i know, inside, she does.

My parents aren’t too caring though, so i have never talked to them. They will never be understanding.

I have tried to go outside often, though the cold air just makes everything numb and i just end up getting wet and freezing as i walk home from school, which doesn’t do wonders. I think i’m starting to suffer from depression.

Whoever’s reading this, please help.

I live in the UK

admin answers:

When you get started you will feel much better – honest!.
Make a list of everything that you need to revise.
Then draw up a diary of two hour study slots in the morning and afternoon.
Mark in each slot what you will study.
Make sure you have a good break in the middle of the day when you have something nutritional to eat, then go for a walk or walk the dog, read something for pleasure not connected with study.
It will all be worth it and once you start you will feel much more in control. I totally understand and remember that big cloud that sits over your head.
Good luck

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