Self Help Inspiration

what is the best way to combat the type of severe low self esteem which comes from a lifetime of being trashed?

and bullied over and over ?

I’m 30 now and although making progress , waiting for therapy, managing my aggression and rage successfully etc.

i still have crippling low self worth where i cant even still form relationships , i get to clingy, act desperate and eager , feel inferior and unworthy etc…….run out of things to say , cant maintain a conversation without the floor falling out of my world and feeling worthless etc..

i have bpd and ptsd , i live in a one bedroom apartment on disability , im starting my life from scratch , missed out on everything , never formed any relationships in life ever..

been on the outskirts of life and society most of my adult life…..have a minor criminal record..

a chubby blonde lady said weeks ago that im not alone that everybody has felt on the outskirts of society at some point.

that didnt help me her saying that any.

i keep replaying over in my head like a video tape all the times i was severely psychologically bullied…….taunted through high school, vicious things were said to me to degrade me……..thats when my self esteem was broken..

thinking back i feel very negative and enraged about those worthless plebs i would dispatch in a hot lonely desert …..without mercy…..those past bullied ignite so much anger still.

because of low self esteem i always invite rejection , especially from

females which is hard…….im scared to death of rejection and often let potential friendships slip by on this site, from those who reach out because im scared to reach out…..incase im rejected.

does anyone know a way to combat this type of severe low self worth ?

Can a friend be dangerous to another’s self esteem by making him feel inferior?

One friend of mine is a know it all. He is opinionated about politics, business, religion and has his list of movies and music that he prefers and wants me to watch about 5 or 6 movies every week and tell him what I think of them. But on this day I told him one of the DVD videos froze up after one and a half hours of playing and he thought I was talking about a video tape. I tried to talk about it but he kept ignoring me and talked to my wife while I was in mid sentence. I got angry and he sensed this but he seems to think that I get angry for no reason, after all he is perfect and I am just there to hang out with once in a while when he’s in between visits with his father and going to lunch at the Hickory House as a ruteen activity and just happens to stop by for 10 minutes every Saturday with a bag full of videos. Sometimes he makes me feel like exploding and he does this because he gets bit of pleasure in it.

Do those really work?

Yes, I know that this question has been asked about a bazillion times but it seems that I still can’t find my answer. You should know that I am a teen and I’ve gone through many periods of very low self esteem. Though they only last a couple of days at a time and occur (on average) about twice a month, I still really hate that I feel this way. When I get out of these cycles I feel like, how could I have ever thought that about myself and then I feel horrible again.
So I wanted to find a way to solve this because I’m sick of it. I decided that I don’t think I need a psychologist, but I need something to help. Do those ‘Self-Help’ tapes that say they’ll up your self-esteem actually work? Or are they a waste of money. If they are, what other suggestions do you have? Please do not say something along the lines of “You need to love yourself and appreciate who you are”. That does not help because it does not tell me what to do. What do I do. Please help me.

Thank you.

will this ‘negative thought killer’ really work?

b/c its pretty much impossible for me to develop positive self talk, i started listening to a set of my dad’s old cassettes where they play a certain music & ocean waves. they’re intended to affect subliminal thinking (so i dont have to pay attention) & positive thoughts are ‘registered’ in the mind for me. they help with self esteem, goal achieving prosperity etc. well i still get in depression in school b/c classmates seem to purposely isolate me socially b/c im a loner with no friends & they think its funny. things like this in school only get worse & i want avoid them b/c i’ll never trust those my age. they pretend to be nice online but they really dont like me for real, there were obvious signs.
so having to endure all this BS forever, & getting self-help with those tapes at the same time, will they have any affect on my thoughts & would i be able to have a happy life? its complex how they work (changing subconcious thinking)??

I am so lonely, please help me?

I am a male in my mid twenties. I have never been on a date, kissed, or even touched a women in a romantic way. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I am stupidly shy and very boring. I really truly believe that I will never love or be loved by someone and that I am a candidate for the saddest man alive.

It’s not just physical, about sex and being a virgin either. I mean, my friend took me to a strip club once but I couldn’t bring myself to pay for a lap dance from some poor girl who is forced to sell herself to desperate morons. I was even thinking of hiring a hooker just to cuddle and to make out (but also will probably never bring myself to do that.) I just want to love and be loved by someone.

Emotionally, I seem oscillate between between extreme anger and envy to sadness and apathy. I am told that I am a really “nice” guy (maybe too nice even, like I’m-a-idiot-who-take-bugs-outside-instead-of killing-them nice.) I am told I am intelligent, but I have never put this to good use, so I may as well be a moron.

I honestly don’t know what kind of advice I could possibly expect from people on yahoo answers, but then again, I am completely smashed at the time of writing so please excuse and spelling and grammar mistakes. I have looked up similar questions asked by others, but usually they are just pathetic and horny and only care about the sexual and physical aspects of their loneliness. Or, the advice given is really lame like: “Don’t worry honey!! you wil find somebody!!” Yeah, or… I won’t? And I’ll eventually kill myself like I’m sure many people have (though i’m to much of a coward to do that now) from loneliness. I’m not a religious or spiritual man who believes that there is someone for everyone because some dopey think-positive new age book says so. My soul mate isn’t just going to come flying in through my f-ing window. Some people do die alone and unhappy.

I guess i’m secretly hoping that someone will write some profound magical response that will enlighten me and change my life but I seriously doubt it. But like I say, I am drunk so I don’t care how pathetic and desperate and self-pitying I sound.

Any help or advice you can give is appreciated.

Why are therapists/counsellors so useless?

Anyone I have ever been to offer suggestions, opinions and it feels like a conversation with a friend then a professional job on their parts..Im seeing one just now and she cant do anything for me. I have problems with social anxiety..And she comes up with ineffectual suggestions for my situation…I cry for an hour and she says ‘i understand’ and then doesn’t see me for 2 weeks..So in actuality my ‘suffering’ didnt register..It seems such a ‘non job’..No course of action is drawn up, no help..She seems as lost as myself..One goes to a therapist for ‘hope’ above all things hope..the idea that there can be a better tomorrow..and if someone does not have the authority or command or the true expertise to do more then just listen and has no ideas by the end of the session, what can a person do?? Are there any therapists in this world who really empathise, really turn your life around? Give you the impetus to do so..It seems such an idle job. It is heartbreaking..it is disappointing..and i think it destroys lives

Please can someone give me a kick in the ass to motivate me to do well (GCSE’s)?

Basically, i’m turning 16 next month and i have my mock gcse’s the month after, and the real exams a few days later.

The trouble is, is that i spent the best part of my summer revising so i can get great marks. But recently i have experienced a huge burnout in motivation. I have the potential to get A*s in most my subjects (according to
My teachers) I go to a decent school, i promised my long-term girlfriend that i will do well (she lives overseas and has high expectations for me), i’m called stupid at school by loads of people because i failed at my Languages (so i want to prove them wrong), i sold my xbox while my friends are spending hours playing the new xbox game (black ops) and recently getting better marks than me and i have even turned to god for help. Everything has shot downhill and i’m a complete mess.

So i convinced myself that i should try to relax for 2-3 weeks and hopefully my courage will arise again and i can get on with my life again. Yet, all that caused was for me to become my former self of a computer game addict/time waster of just spending hours reading useless books (wheres wally, KS1 books, etc), playing online computer games (like miniclip.com) and other useless things. I have even begun masturbating 3-4 times a day. Before this burnout of concentration, my mind was so fresh and alert and i never thought of masturbating (maybe once a month), but now i do it 3-4 times a day and i go to bed with an aching, tired body, and blurred mind and memory after the dizzy spells i get after i ****.

So i have turned to the final place i can get help. Maybe someone on Y!A can provide a spark that will start my fire again. I know that this is the ideal time to study, with it being the start of something that will decide the rest of my life, while everyone else is wasting their time playing black ops. But i just can’t. I’m in a complete mess. I’m gaining weight, losing my six pack and my eyesight’s getting blurry…
…too. My close friends think i’m underachieving too.

But worst of all, i kniw if i do badly, i’ll let my girlfriend down. She is really acedemic and she wants to get into Cambride/Harvard (which she’ll probably do) and wants me to do well in my exams so it would be easier for us to be closer together. I really miss her, but i wreck like me doesnt deserve someone like her at the moment. She said that she wouldn’t mind if i do badly, but i know, inside, she does.

My parents aren’t too caring though, so i have never talked to them. They will never be understanding.
I have tried to go outside often, though the cold air just makes everything numb and i just end up getting wet and freezing as i walk home from school, which doesn’t do wonders. I think i’m starting to suffer from depression.

Whoever’s reading this, please help.
I live in the UK
Sorry, my gcse exams are a few ‘months’ after… (its quite late now)

Bad self-esteem epidemic here……..?

it seems that 99.99% of the crys for help here are from folks (especially females) who have bad/low self esteem!

what is your experience/understanding of self-esteem? who needs it anyway? where and how can one find self-esteem training, classes, material, etc.? does Google have anything on it? can you find self-esteem books, tapes, cds, videos, etc. in a library or bookstore? can you offer any websites re. self-esteem? what difference could self-esteem studies possibly make?
thanks
“first of all you should just love and trust yourself”
….ok…..but HOW? tell us some methods, skills, techniques!

What is a good book on tape for the develpment of self esteem and or confidence?

Thanks

my boyfriend has low self esteem and i cant stop upsetting him?

my boyfriend has really low self esteem, according to him. he is 41 and i am 39. he says its because of his first marriage and that his ex often put him down and destroyed his self esteem. i knew him at college when we dated for two years and i know that he has always been sensitive but not this bad. i absolutely adore him, love him with all my heart but there are times when i speak directly and openly and say the wrong thing. he gets upset with me for days and goes into a mood and doesnt want to see me. i apologise countless times and do all i can to make up to him but he just seems to be getting worse. the things i say arnt really that bad (i dont think). nothing really personal or nasty, no name calling etc. the worst ive called him is ‘flaky’ when he cant seem to pick himself up after a fallout. he is there for me for all the good times but when things get a bit tense, he dissapears to his little ‘place of safety’ as he calls his house. i am there for him when he has a bad day but he rarely tells me when he has a bad day and prefers to bottle it all up. he gives me the could shoulder quite a lot whereas i am all for apologising and making up as life is too short to argue/fall out over petty stuff. he says he loves me frequently and i tell him that too and when we get on, life couldnt get any better. i love him so much. he says he is ‘damaged goods’ from his last relationship. how do i deal with this situation apart from permanently taping my mouth shut so i never say anything that might hurt him? dont tell me to leave him. he is my soulmate and i have never felt like this about anyone, not even my first husband. we have been together for 2 and a half years now.

What is the best way to combat the type of severe low self esteem which comes from a lifetime of being trashed?

and bullied over and over ?

I’m 30 now and although making progress , waiting for therapy, managing my aggression and rage successfully etc.

i still have crippling low self worth where i cant even still form relationships , i get to clingy, act desperate and eager , feel inferior and unworthy etc…….run out of things to say , cant maintain a conversation without the floor falling out of my world and feeling worthless etc..

i have bpd and ptsd , i live in a one bedroom apartment on disability , im starting my life from scratch , missed out on everything , never formed any relationships in life ever..

been on the outskirts of life and society most of my adult life…..have a minor criminal record..

a chubby blonde lady said weeks ago that im not alone that everybody has felt on the outskirts of society at some point.

that didnt help me her saying that any.

i keep replaying over in my head like a video tape all the times i was severely psychologically bullied…….taunted through high school, vicious things were said to me to degrade me……..thats when my self esteem was broken..

thinking back i feel very negative and enraged about those worthless plebs i would dispatch in a hot lonely desert …..without mercy…..those past bullied ignite so much anger still.

because of low self esteem i always invite rejection , especially from

females which is hard…….im scared to death of rejection and often let potential friendships slip by on this site, from those who reach out because im scared to reach out…..incase im rejected.

does anyone know a way to combat this type of severe low self worth ?

Dr Robert Anthony?

I am looking into his manifesting course, i would love to hear any success stories!!!

Self Confidence Creator By Robert Anthony – Does It Work?

Hey

Have one of you heard about Self Confidence Creator By Robert Anthony? I read about this course in one magazine today and I wonder if this program is really effective or not.
If one of you tried it please share your own experience and thoughts about Dr. Robert Anthony‘s Self Confidence Creator program.
Thanks,
Rick

please comment on this?

I was reading a book by Dr robert Anthony “The ultimate secrets of total self confidence”, It was written like that :

Have you ever noticed how some people always have trouble with their

automobiles? Their vehicles just don’t respond to them. Yet another
person “talks” to his automobile and it responds trouble-free, trip after
trip. It would seem that even inanimate things do sense love.
Preposterous? It has been scientifically demonstrated that metal atoms
respond differently to different personalities.

Does anyone know any confidence building exercises for my dog?

He’s a year and a half and his breed is Shih Tzu. He’s very well trained and a darling boy, however I think he needs some confidence boosting. Do you know of any games or exercises that I can do with him to help him feel better about himself and his position in our family? Thanks.

Are there really confidence-building exercises?

I’ve found that, in general, putting myself into socially-uncomfortable situations is what helps be build confidence, as well as achieving things (in class, for example) which are recognized by peers.

However, I was wondering, do any of these other confidence-building “exercises,” such as writing out a page of positive things about me, really help? Are there other things I can do?

Daily Confidence Building Exercises?

I’ve never been a party person, but now that I’m in college it is a big scene. I don’t like to drink at parties and I’m very shy until I get to know someone. My problem is feeling blocked out by my roommates and that no girls are gonna waste their time on a quiet guy. I’ve never had any issues once I’ve gotten to know someone, but it’s that first step that always catches me. Some people have told me I’m rather paranoid or that I have social anxieties. Can anyone provide any tips for how to build confidence or baby steps I can take?

Building dogs confidence?

hey does any one have any good confidence building exercises i can use on my german shep.? he’s not shy or afraid he just lacks confidence. he never snaps or growls at people out of fear or aggression. if anyone has some good games or exercises i can use please tell me thank you.
hes about 1 1/2 yrs old

Do you agree with me that Confidence building can sometimes be an exercise in Futility?Work is better?